Compose Yourself

by Jamie B Sings

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about

Compose Yourself was a labour of love. It was lived before it was written, and written, in places, while it was being recorded. It took around a year and a half all in all, and has been a constant for me at times when all else seems to be caught in the maelstrom.

I struggled to let go of it, but knew I had to. It was borne of a longing to make the songs as good as they could be, but at some point you just have to make the final call and love the imperfection of it all. That goes for people too.

This album is the product of many, many hours. Not just recording and mixing but pondering, humming, tweaking, refining. It's a great pleasure and privilege to have it finished and to be able to share it with you.

I hope you enjoy it.

"And in the darkest dark
The slightest spark
Makes the starkest mark"

Lots of love,
Jamie B (Sings)
x

credits

released November 24, 2018

Written and performed by Jamie B Sings.

Produced by Jamie B Sings with additional production by Moosh Wah.

Album covers courtesy of Sophie Cook.

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all rights reserved

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about

Jamie B Sings UK

J. Bowering, esq., a.k.a. Jamie B Sings, has been making music since 2004, for his own amusement but also for you, dear reader of this bio thing. He writes and records his own songs and dabbles in a few different instruments. His main interests are music and speaking about himself in the 3rd person. Like now. And now. And now. His songs tend to be in the 1st person though. ... more

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Track Name: Welcome
Welcome, welcome
Back to the home you thought that you'd outgrown
Come warm your bones
The hearth burns on but never burns out, no

So you're burned out
Overloaded
Sick of being high-roaded
Sick of feeling that there's something more out there
But you don't know where
I know, I've been there
And the 'there' you're looking for
Is here

We are stardust, we are golden
And we deserve to give ourselves the chance
We are fleeting, we are finite
Pulsations in the cosmic dance
Become, be one with all you see
Become, be one with the deathless breeze
We deserve to give ourselves the chance,
Create, pulsate in cosmic dance
We deserve to give ourselves the chance
Create, pulsate and dance, dance, dance
Dance, dance, dance...

Welcome, welcome
Back to the home you thought that you'd outgrown
Come warm your bones
The hearth burns on but never burns out, no
Track Name: Change
I wanna change, change, change
Everything, thing, thing about you
Which says more about me than it does about you
I'm a control freak bumping into the boundaries
Of my cushty little world
So I'll try, try, try, to live, live, live and let live

And maybe you could try to forgive
All the ones that wronged you, imagined or real
Screw up the rulebook, learn to go by feel

I wanna change, change, change
Everything, thing, thing about you
Which says more about me than it does about you
I'm a control freak bumping into the boundaries
Of my cushty little world
So I'll try, try, try, to live, live, live and let live
And maybe you could try to forgive

Well I guess everyone's different
And I guess everyone's hurting in their own way
And we all want things we can't have
So I guess, in that way at least, we're all the same

So let your smiles rise and let your tears fall
Throw your eyes wide and take it all in
I'm here for you if you're here for me

I wouldn't change, change, change
Anything, thing, thing about you
Because you are, are, are
What you are, and that goes for me too
We can't control life, no,
So we go, go, go with the flow
So would you walk, walk beside me
On life's rocky road?
Track Name: The Curious Ego
Well I said it before but I don't know how I feel
'Cause it's there to bear but its essence stays concealed
Wielding power over my emotions over you
And I can't go round it, so I must go through

And the clichés ring true and the pain it brings you
Is all too real
Yeah the clichés ring true and the pain it brings you
Feels like it'll never heal

Well I know you put your time and energy
In forging this path to walk with me
But you know another road is branching out
Without a doubt, it's just one that we can't see

But misplaced lies can jeopardize a beautiful future
And we're both deserving
But we're speeding along an open road
And the endless swerving proves unnverving

Is this a case of fear and love just like before?
Or the curious ego Hellbent on the scent
Emerging from beneath the other door
Who's always scared to lose what it has
But always wants one more
One more

But love is not synonymous with me and you
And love is trust, and if we must
Then we'll find the strength
And that's what we'll do

Internalising isn't wise, you taught me that
Amongst other things
And I hope our time isn't yet through
But I don't know what the future brings

I care for you, I love your smile
And your whispers in my ear
And from each storm, a new day's dawned
And I'm still here, still standing near
Maybe it's just fear and love and fear and love and love and fear...
And I'm trying to learn which is which
And I'm trying to listen, and not just hear

But I fear I fear more than I love
And I'd love to love more than I fear...
Track Name: Love Is Not A Dirty Word
You say love is a luxury
I say love is a necessity

Did you ever stop to think
That the kind of love you want
Might not be the kind of love you need?
Did you ever stop to think
That the kind of love you need
Might just be a higher frequency?

Because love is not a dirty word,
Love is not a dirty word...

You say love just walked away from you
I say that's not something true love can do

External reflection
Of internal connection
Glorious intersection
Of harmonious perfection

Because love is not a dirty word,
Love is not a dirty word...

Be the bridge, be the bridge...
Track Name: Claw & Tooth
The unbidden guest,
A ghost at the banquet
A pale reflection of a life seemingly outgrown
Filled not just with joy
Not just with sorrow
Not just with pain, but with beauty
Stripped to the bare bones

As the comfortable delusion
Gives way to disillusioned
Cold, hard truth
And, dispossessed of cataracts
A reassessing of the facts
Forensic case of dog eat dog,
Claw and tooth

This ship has sailed
How very final
A primal push to leave me overboard,
Marooned

Decorum failed, loyalties lost
As the wound becomes the scar,
Becomes the wound

As the comfortable delusion
Gives way to disillusioned
Cold, hard truth
And, dispossessed of cataracts
A reassessing of the facts
Forensic case of dog eat dog,
Claw and tooth

Well the siren song will reel you in,
You keel, then kneel, then reel in sin
Until the throes are over, you stay blind
So own your failings, I'll do the same
In claw and tooth, there is no blame
'Cause I'm no better
These are all projections of my mind...
Track Name: Before Your Eyes (Close)
I want to pierce the heart of creation
Loosen the bonds of my frustration
I want to lift the veil of illusion
Loosen the bonds of my confusion

The life, the love, the truth
The absolute, the absolution...

Every question and every solution
All creation and all destitution
Realise the manifest and manifest your realisation
Of the oneness of all...

Build cathedrals in your mind
Formless fountains overspill in space and time
Live as one in abundance
Revel in the manifold wonders

Before your eyes...
Behind your eyes...
Before your eyes close
Track Name: I Know That We Weren't Right
Every time I win the battle
I tell myself I've won the war
All I want's to be alright
Surely that's what life is for?

Sometimes I still want you
But I wish it wasn't true
I don't want to grasp what's in the past
'Cause wanting only makes you blue...

My cracking smile betrays me
On the darker of my days
I crave connection, but introspection
Drags me back into familiar ways

And every time I see your face
My heart still lights up inside
Even though I know deep down, I loved you
I know that we weren't right
I know that we weren't

Right and wrong, like vultures circling
Around my head for days
Second guessing, ever stressing
Ain't no winners in this game we play...

I'm sorry you did more for me
Than I ever did for you
Still trying to get my head straight
And admit I never had a clue...

We'll always have the memories
Now it's time I set you free
But really, it's only me
Because you have always been

And every time I see your face
My heart still lights up inside
Even though my heart still aches thinking of you
From time to time
I know that we weren't right

Now, it seems The Great Pretender
No longer wants to hide
All I seek now is surrender
To the tears that gather in my eyes...

So every time you win the battle
Tell yourself there's still a war
Ever learning, ever growing
Never knowing what you have in store...
Track Name: Little Vices
Lord I know this life's not easy
And sometimes we need our pick-me-ups
Our little vices just to get us through the day
And we think we cannot fail
If we just follow that breadcrumb trail
Oblivious to any other way

But those vices only work for so long
Can't shake the feeling there's something wrong
And as the cracks appear, you hear
That fearful voice up in your ear
Keeping track of all you think you lack
As we pay heed to what we think we need
And fill the hole with anything and everything
If only we knew

You don't need no fancy clothes
Big house or a brand new car
You don't need anything more than you
To love just who you are
No I don't need no drinks and smokes
And I don't need a one night stand
I don't need anything more than me
To love just who I am
Track Name: A Letter To My Former Self
PART 1

You held out your struggle at arm's length
Scared of it baring its teeth
You promised yourself you'd stay vigilant
A weary watch with no hope of relief

Running on the spot
With your eyes bloodshot
Doing what you always did
And getting what you always got

I can't correct what you've done
Just accept what you've done
For that rocky road led us both here
And I'd tell you you don't need to live in fear
But I know it would fall on deaf ears

And in the darkest dark
The slightest spark
Makes the starkest mark
So as you were
As you were
Became as I am

A slave to the craving with insatiable tastes
But somehow, still you saved face
On a road through Hell lined
With good intentions laid to waste
Still you healed at a glacial pace
And learned what it means to be brave
Still I'm learning what it means to be brave...

I can't correct what you've done
Just accept what you've done
For that rocky road led us both here
And I'd tell you you don't need to live in fear
But I know it would fall on deaf ears

And in the darkest dark
The slightest spark
Makes the starkest mark
So as you were
As you were
Became as I am

PART 2

So don't think you need to change
'Cause you're gonna change anyway
And the future
None can see
And I'm learning how to love you
And therefore love me
But I can't be forever tethered
To the ghosts of memory...

PART 3

Till the soil, tend the Earth
Mend your heart and wear your worth
Be a friend, lend a hand
Just as soon as you can
No time to waste, to save face
Just be broken, cracked on open
Softly spoken, in whispers woken
The steady swell of the endless ocean...
My darling...

Till the soil, tend the Earth
Mend your heart and wear your worth
Be a friend, lend a hand
Just as soon as you can
No time to waste, to save face
Just be broken, cracked on open
Softly spoken, in whispers woken
The steady swell of the endless ocean...